Zhēn Nǚshén Chì
by Priestess Luna
Summary: What if Hitomi Kanzaki wasn't the only one that helped Van Fanel that day? What if Hitomi's cousin was visiting at the time and brought to Gaea as well? How much of the story would have changed if Ying Fa "Sakura" Li was there to help? Set towards the end of the series with numerous flashbacks retelling the story we all know and love in a new way you will never forget...


Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or anything that belongs to the creator of Ecaflowne or Card Captor Sakura. I only own my original characters that are featured in this story.

Hello! This is my first story in this fandom. I have had the plotline written out for this story for two years. I finally had the courage to start turning that plotline into chapters. This story takes places towards the end of the series rather than the beginning. The past events of their first time on Gaea will be told in a series of flashbacks throughout the story. There are small elements from Card Captor Sakura referenced in the story. However, they play very minor roles to the entire plotline. This story is not a crossover. The italics will be for flashbacks and the italic bolds for dreams. Enjoy!

**Prologue**

_Sunlight shone through the trees behind the Fanelian castle. A forest, spreading as far as the eye could see, hid the two lovers and their silent observer. Within a small graveyard, the lovers stood in front of the great white kneeling Ispano guymelef, Escaflowne. This particular graveyard held the graves of the Fanelian Royal Family, with the only remaining member saying farewell to the woman he loved._

_My breath caught in my throat at the scene in front of me. The tree I was hiding behind acted as a silent reminder that I wasn't supposed to be here. I was an intruder during this important moment that should have remained private. I couldn't stop myself from watching the pair confess their final goodbyes to each other, even if watching them broke my heart into a thousand pieces. _

"_Escaflowne should be kept asleep." He said._

_The young Fanelian royal's companion gave him a heartfelt smile, sorrow dancing in her bright green eyes. "What happens now?" She quietly asked, taking a few steps towards the young man._

"_My brother wished for a world, for a Gaea, in peace. I want to see what that world is like." He replied, studying the short haired blonde in front of him with conflicting emotions. _

"_And I want to see that with you." The green eyed blonde exclaimed, the sincerity in her voice speaking volumes about her feelings for the young royal. "Or can I? The truth is, I love it here. I love Fanelia."_

_Heartbreak gripped me at hearing her words. It wasn't fair that she was allowed to voice her feelings when I have to hide mine. A faint flare of jealousy rose within me before I could squash it down. I had no right to be jealous of my cousin when I knew she held his heart. Especially when he asked me, his best friend and her cousin, for a blessing I gladly gave._

"_If you want to, I'd be more then fine with me." The young man declared, smiling at the woman unreservedly._

_His words were like a dagger to the heart. He only wanted her to stay then. It wouldn't matter to him if I returned to the Mystic Moon and dealt with the aftermath of our disappearance alone. Apparently my sacrifices during the Great War didn't mean anything. I was just the Seer's cousin, the second half of the Twin Goddesses, the rogue swordswoman from the Mystic Moon, the Fanelian King's best friend and comrade at arms. I was insignificant to Van Fanel when it came to __**her**__._

_The bitterness that was starting to consume me terrified me. I wasn't a jealous or vengeful person. Folken told me that my heart was pure. That one of the reasons he fell in love with me was that I always put others before myself, even if I ended up hurting myself in the process. How can I be pure of heart if all I want to do right now is claw my cousin's eyes out?_

"_Hey, you know something? We can see each other anytime we like. All we have to do is picture each other in our minds." The young man explained gently, sorrow glimmering in his wine eyes at the thought of the woman he loves leaving him._

"_Van…" the girl murmured her voice wavering as tears began to streak her cheeks. She grasped the pendant hanging around her neck, slowly taking it off and holding it out towards the Fanelian King. "Here," Hitomi Kanzaki uttered, placing Van's hand underneath her own to take the necklace. "I'll never forget you."_

_Van took her hand in his, pulling Hitomi into a loving embrace. _

"_I'll never forget you, even when I'm old." Hitomi promised, returning Van's embrace with all her heart. She buried her face into his shoulder, crying._

_He tightened his grip on Hitomi, bringing her head closer to his own. Van closed his eyes, a peaceful expression gracing his features. _

_I choked down a cry of despair at the loving gesture between the pair. The love radiating off the lovers was palpable. It broke my heart to witness the two speak their final goodbyes. My heart hurt at the thought of not getting such a heartfelt farewell of my own. _

_I instinctively knew it was time to join them. It had reached the point where Hitomi and I would have to leave. Although I wanted desperately to stay, I knew that the only way to break the last remaining remnants of Dornkirk's magic was for both of us to leave Gaea._

_With inner strength I didn't know I possessed, I plastered an enthusiastic smile on my face. I buried my despair and jealousy deep down, trapping it behind a thick wall of my own making. "Hitomi! Van!" I called out, moving out from behind the tree. I waved at the two, walking towards them with a forced bounce in my step._

_Van opened his eyes, smiling gently at me. "There you are, Sakura." He replied, releasing his grip on Hitomi._

_Hitomi sniffled, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand before looking up at me. "Sakura!" She cried out, withdrawing from Van's embrace and running towards me._

_I braced myself when my cousin's body impacted with my own. I padded her back awkwardly, feeling my smile waver when her arms encircled my waist. "I hope you haven't been waiting long." I stated._

_She pulled away from me, gracing me with a watery smile. "No…" she said, shaking her head. "Van and I were just exchanging farewells before you arrived."_

_I glanced at Van for confirmation, receiving a nod from the Fanelian King in question. I looked away quickly, not wanting to let my emotions get the better of me. "Good." I pronounced, laughing uneasily. "Do you mind grabbing our duffels, Hitomi? I left them over by that tree." I pointed hastily over to the tree I was hiding behind earlier._

_Hitomi nodded, quickly taking off in the direction I pointed._

"_Sakura…" Van exclaimed, sorrow causing his voice to shake._

_I bravely look over to where Van was standing, eyeing me thoughtfully. I swallowed nervously, hesitantly walking over to him. My hand shakily tucked a few strands of my strawberry blonde hair behind my ear as I reached him. "I guess this is goodbye then." I whispered awkwardly._

_Van swiftly pulled me into a hug before I could stop him. My entire body stiffened at the sudden wave of emotion his embrace initiated. Why did he have to make this harder than it already was? It was taking every ounce of my strength not to break down into tears in his arms._

"_I will miss you, Sakura." He affirmed, reaching up to grasp my chin. Van forced me to meet his wine colored eyes with my own bright green, the exact same color as my cousin, Hitomi's eyes. The compassion and sorrow dancing within their depths awoke the tidal wave of feelings inside me that I've been fighting against all day._

_Before I could stop myself, I quickly leaned up and caressed his lips with my own. Without any regard towards his feelings or my own, I stole a kiss from Van Fanel. Happiness flooded through me when my lips touched his, my eyes fluttering shut. A contented sigh escaped me as I melted against him, loving the feeling of being in his arms. To know that I would finally get to express my love towards Van seemed like a dream come true. Every scenario I dreamed up over the past year of this moment couldn't compare to the real thing. None of those childish daydreams could compare to my first stolen kiss with my love, Van Fanel._

_Stolen…_

_Kiss…_

_My eyes snapped open, realizing exactly what I've done. I ripped my lips away from his, covering my mouth with my hand. Embarrassment rode through me, my cheeks flushing red from the stupidity of my actions. What have I done? I fearfully met Van's eyes, taking in the shock gleaming within them. I forcefully dropped my hand, trying to find the words to apologize._

_I swallowed nervously, unable to form any other words except, "I love you, Van Fanel." Both of my hands flew up to cover my mouth, the embarrassment from earlier turning into horror. What provoked me to spill my guts to him just now? What was wrong with me?_

_Van's mouth opened and closed several times, unable to figure out how to respond to my sudden declaration. Uncertainty crossed over his features, his lips forming a grim smile. Before he could reply to me, a shout from Hitomi broke the silence between us._

"_Found them, Sakura!"_

_With much effort, I tore my gaze away from Van to study my cousin as I dropped my hands to my sides. A sincere smile graced her face, bright green eyes dancing with sorrow and love as she approached us. How could I betray her like I just did? It wasn't fair to her for me to keep such a secret. "Hitomi-"_

"_You ready to go, Sakura?" Hitomi asked, interrupting me. She gazed curiously at Van and me, question glimmering in her eyes._

_I convincingly nodded my head, unable to answer her with words. With great determination, I moved over to stand next to Hitomi, taking my bag from her in the process. My gaze flickered towards the ground, unwilling to look Van in the eyes. How could I meet his stare after what I've done?_

_Hitomi sniffled next to me, her hand reaching hastily for mine. I willingly locked hands with her, taking comfort in her presence despite my great betrayal towards her. She gently squeezed my hand much to my surprise. Was she taking comfort from me too?_

_Curiosity got the better of me. I hesitantly looked up, watching Van raise the energist in his hand to the sky. It seemed he was avoiding looking at me, as much as I was with him. I faintly noticed that he and Hitomi were holding hands as well. Somehow, we were all still connected despite recent events. That thought alone gave me the strength to endure the final farewell between the two._

_A pillar of light surrounded Hitomi and me. The spirits of long dead Draconians surrounded us, their voices echoing hauntingly in my ears. Slowly, I was lifted off the ground along with Hitomi. Desperation to stay flooded through me, despite the knowledge that staying on Gaea was impossible. I bit my lip to prevent any words from escaping me. I couldn't afford to let myself waver in my decision to return to the Mystic Moon._

"_I'll never forget you!" Hitomi called down to Van next to me._

_Van and Hitomi had held onto to each other the entire time we had been ascending towards the sky. My heart constricted at the heart wrenching moment shared between them, wondering if I would ever find such a connection with another. I watched their hands break apart, sad that Van would be left alone while Hitomi and I still had each other._

_I stole one last look at Van's face, barely distinguishable from our current height. A choked sob escaped me, as guilt, sorrow, and love gripped me painfully. It seemed fate pitied me in that moment for Van's eyes met mine one last time. A lonely smile spread across my lips, tear trails staining my red cheeks. I mouthed, "I will miss you too" to answer his words from earlier._

_I never found out if Van knew what I said. All I knew was that his wine colored eyes were the last thing I saw before Hitomi and I disappeared into the heavens. Then there was only suffocating darkness…._

….a soundless scream ripped through me as I was awakened from my dream. A dream that continued to haunt me a year after I left Gaea with Hitomi. The memory of my last moments on Gaea left me with a loneliness that was hard to forget. The emptiness I felt in my heart without Van to fill it has led to many sleepless nights and tear soaked pillows.

I slowly sat up on my sleeping futon, my hands gripping the sleeves of my sleeping yukata tightly. I used my left sleeve to wipe away any tears left from my latest dream. Every time I awoke with tear stained cheeks and the hole in my heart slightly bigger. When would this torment end?

A tired sigh escaped my lips, exhaustion hitting me harder tonight than last night. I blinked my weary eyes, wondering what nightmare would await me when I fell asleep once more. With a heavy heart, I lay back down and buried my head into my damp pillow. My eyes fluttered shut, my body giving into my fatigue before I could count to three. Darkness once again welcomed me back into its embrace…

_**Trees surrounded me on all sides. Earth, otherwise known as the Mystic Moon, hung in the night's sky above me. A light breeze rustled several strands of my shoulder length strawberry blonde hair and my sleeping yukata, causing a shiver to travel down my spine. I found myself standing in a familiar graveyard with one slight difference. The great guymelef, Escaflowne, was nowhere to be found. **_

_**What was I doing back here? There was no possible way I could be back on Gaea. I was now trapped on Earth forever. The only way I could be back here would be in a dream. This must be a dreamscape that my mind created to compensate for my loneliness. That was the only thing I could think of to explain this. **_

_**I glanced around the dreamscape graveyard, walking over towards the grave that held Folken's name inscribed upon it. My fingertips traced the letters of his name, my heart aching with sorrow. Folken was the first man that told me I was beautiful, the first person outside my family to love me, and my first kiss. It pained me greatly that I was never able to return that love. My heart had belonged to another and still did. A year on Earth had not changed how I felt about Van Fanel.**_

_**I knelt in front of Folken's grave, intent on paying my respects. Even if this was a dream, this dreamscape was as close as I was ever going to get to Gaea again. I licked my lips, my hand resting over Folken's name on the stone. "It has been so hard, Folken." I whispered my words laced with sorrow. "It has been so hard to be back on Earth."**_

_**I tucked a few loose strands of hair behind my ear before I spoke again. "So much has happened since Hitomi and I left Gaea. I returned home to China with my parents. We celebrated the passing of my fifteenth birthday. After returning, I was informed that I would be the next Head of the Li Family once my uncle passed on." I laughed hollowly at that, shaking my head in despair. "Apparently, magic runs in my family. My mother informed me that I am the first in several generations that has shown a talent for it. Usually it is the telltale mark of the Family's head. However, since our family hasn't seen it since my great great grandparents, it no longer was required to be the Head. Since my uncle has no children of his own and I'm the only one with magical talent, I am to be next Head whether I like it or not."**_

_**My hand balled into a fist at my side. "It's not fair, Folken." I declared, shaking my head angrily. "I don't care about being the next Head of the Li Family. Earth doesn't feel like my home. I miss the green forests of Gaea and the people I've met during Van, Hitomi, and my travels. I miss all of my friends, especially Merle." A smile spread across my lips despite my best efforts. "I still miss that crazy neko."**_

_**A pang of regret echoed through my heart at the thought of the next person I missed. "I miss Van, Folken. I miss him so much." I professed, tears pricking at the corner of my bright green eyes. "I think about him all the time. How the rebuilding of Fanelia is going. How much Van has helped maintain the peace after the Great War. If Van is married now with a wife and a child on the way." I choked on my last words, fighting against the tidal wave of loneliness. "I miss my best friend…"**_

_**I leaned my head against Folken's stone, silent tears streaking down my cheeks. All of the emotions I have been keeping locked up break through my walls. Apparently thinking of Van was the last piece that my heart could take before it overfilled. There is nothing I wouldn't give to see Van again. I wished I knew of some way to make sure that the man I loved, my best friend, was happy.**_

"_**Sakura?"**_

_**At the sound of one word, my body froze. Disbelief rose within me, unable to comprehend that I just heard what I thought heard. There was no way that someone just called me by the Japanese equivalent of my Chinese name. It wasn't possible that that someone could also sound like the person I wished to see most.**_

_**I slowly lifted my head, tensely looking up over the stone. There, standing several feet in front of me was the one person I've been longing to see. With raven black hair and wine colored eyes, the man gazed down at me with an overjoyed smile.**_

"_**Van?"**_


End file.
